Things in crypto just keep happening.

Story One

Pump.fun token sale

On July 12th, Solana’s prime memecoin launchpad went through its public sale, raising $500 million in just 12 minutes; an event some have interpreted as (initial coin offerings).

In their humble announcement tweet, the team stated they set out to replace TikTok and Twitch, supposedly using their live stream feature. I can’t wait to see the ShrimpJesus livestreams to get all the aunties to pump a memecoin — admittedly, a relatively harmless event considering the shit that has gone down on pump.fun in the past.

The response was lukewarm. The Solana manlets were celebrating the dawn of a new internet capital market (their rebrand of digital assets) era, everyone else just went about their business.

Pump.fun may generate significant revenue, but only as long as the memecoin mania lasts. For the time being, the PUMP token itself is trading rather like one with no pump in sight.

Takeaway: The success of pump.fun in selling 33% of their supply this fast is just another symptom of a culture where everything is becoming gambling. Will this end well? Probably not.

Story Two

Crypto in the press

Usually, when crypto is featured in mainstream media, it’s not good. This time, things were different. For the first time in my living memory, CNBC picked up a crypto event and came back positively impressed.

I’m talking about EthCC, the Ethereum community conference, this year hosted in Cannes, the South of France, a place that’s more used to seeing film festivals and high culture events than crypto bros roaming the streets.

Suddenly, all those projects with no money to fund public goods found the funds to host yacht parties. As CNBC reports, the was gathering to celebrate their success in onboarding the likes of BlackRock.

The highlight of the conference was Robinhood's CEO in his best pimp outfit announcing that Robinhood would offer access to tokenized stocks, which later turned out not to be backed at all by real equity,

Takeaway: I’m sure there is a Freudian read on this, where crypto is trying to impress big daddy (big finance). Once I have a full thesis there, I will let you know.

Story Three

CT is not real

Borrowing a term that Baudrillard made fashionable, it’s at best hyperreal. The shitposting industrial complex will make you believe that everyone is unhinged, barely hanging on to their sanity. Then you meet famous Crypto Twitter personalities, and they appear weirdly normal, sometimes even shockingly kind.

The more time you spend on CTt, the more your perception of reality is endangered. Everyone is always making crazy money with leverage trading, or at fancy Yacht parties (see above). Meanwhile, shitposting is touted as a genuine marketing strategy, once again highlighting our exceptionalism, where we believe we are nothing like Web2 at all.

It’s only logical, then, that the CEX with a boomer reputation would be the first to officially hire a CT lead, to help them polish their social media game and try to fix their tarnished reputation.

Yes, I am talking about Coinbase, and the only reason I do is because, for a few days, everyone and their alts were suddenly talking about how every company needs a CT lead. 

Takeaway: A stellar shitposting record buys you nothing; if anything, it might make sure normal people don’t want to interact with you ever again. Don't optimize for CT unless you never want to exist outside of it. 

Fact of the week: Speaking of Yachts, I for one avoid all the yacht parties because there’s nothing worse than being stuck on a boat with crypto bros and no escape. Interestingly, the word comes from the Dutch word for hunt (“jacht”), because these exuberant displays of wealth started out as small navy vessels for hunting pirates. Begs the question: who are they hunting nowadays?

Naomi for CoinJar

Please remember past performance is not a reliable indicator of future results. Don’t invest unless you’re prepared to lose all the money you invest. Due to the nature, complexity and volatility of crypto, it may be perceived to be a high‑risk investment. There are no government or central bank guarantees in the event something goes wrong with your investment.

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